We need God’s help to live like this.

We’ve been considering keys to genuine forgiveness.  Last time we determined that forgiveness begins by relinquishing my right to get even.  In Hebrews 12:15 we are told to “Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.” (TLB)  Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our hearts and overshadows our relationships.  A “poisonous root of bitterness” comes when we allow disappointment or hurts to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts.

I am so thankful that the Spirit of God can heal the hurt that causes bitterness in life if we will allow Him.  One of the greatest avenues of healing is forgiveness.  Unfortunately, an unforgiving spirit leads to resentment that can be passed on from generation to generation.  The truth is you don’t just make yourself miserable.  When you’re bitter, you make everybody else around you miserable too.  It is like you are passing on your bitterness as an inheritance.

Forgiveness not only means giving up my right to get even, it also involves responding to evil with good.  In Luke 6:27-28 Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  There are several key words in those two verses that are vital elements of forgiveness.  Do you see them?  We are to love, do good, bless, and pray for.  Also, be sure and notice that these things are all directed toward our enemies, those who hate us, those who curse us, and those who mistreat us.

You choose to return good for evil.  That sounds like something Jesus to would do.  As a matter of fact, that’s what He did.  Remember when Jesus prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”?  Jesus was responding to evil with good.  You will know you’ve genuinely forgiven somebody when you can pray for them in this way.

Today, we can decide to respond to evil with good.  The way to do that is by asking God to fill us with His love.  Most of us don’t have the capacity to live like this on our own.  We need God’s help.  We need the love of Jesus Christ to fill us.  When God’s love fills us, He enables us to love like only He can.  God wants to enable us to do what we could never do on our own.  More next week…

Forgiveness means I relinquish my right to get even.

Last time we considered some myths regarding forgiveness.  So, what does real forgiveness look like anyway?  In Romans 12:19 we are told to leave revenge in God’s hands.  When I am ready to forgive, I decide to relinquish my right to get even.  That may sound unfair, because it is.  Forgiveness isn’t fair.  Was it fair for Jesus Christ to die for your sins and mine?  We’re the ones who sinned.  The Bible says the wages of sin is death.  The blood price had to be paid for our sin.  Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God died in our place.  He is the One who offers us the free gift of eternal life.  Forgiveness is a gift of God’s grace.  There is nothing fair about it.

It is interesting to see how we always seem to want justice for everyone else, but we desire forgiveness and grace for ourselves.  When it comes to forgiving somebody else, our immediate response is, “that’s not fair!”  But you never hear anybody asking God to be fair with them.  Nobody says, “God, go ahead and give me what I deserve.”  That is because we don’t want God to be fair with us.  We want God to be gracious to us.  We want God to forgive us.

Forgiveness means I relinquish my right to get even.  This is the starting point to forgiveness.  If you don’t do this, you easily fall into the trap of bitterness.  No matter how much bitterness you possess and no matter how much resentment you hold on to, it isn’t going to change the past.  All of that resentment, and all of that bitterness, and all of those grudges you’ve held on to, they won’t bring anything positive to your future.  Resentment will never change the past.  It will just mess up today.

Many times people hold resentment in their hearts and the people they resent don’t have a clue.  They’re going along through life, having fun, doing their thing, getting on with their future.  And all the while you’re the one stuck in the past.

When you hold on to resentment, aren’t you really allowing those same people who hurt you in the past to continue hurting you today?  They cannot continue to hurt you unless you choose to hold on to the hurt.  Why would you do that?  Why would you hold on to a hurt that cannot be changed or controlled?  All you’re doing is making yourself miserable.  So you relinquish your right to get even.  More next time…

Does Forgiveness Mean Forgetting?

How do you handle it when somebody hurts you?  Do you keep score when you have been hurt?  Do you hold a grudge or stockpile your hurts?  In 1 Corinthians 13:5 we are reminded that “Love…keeps no record of wrongs.”  When we keep a record of wrongs it’s like we are saving up ammunition so that when others hurt us, we have an arsenal we can use to hurt them back.  But according to the scripture, that is not what love does.  Instead, love forgives.

 

There are so many myths and misconceptions about forgiveness.  Some think that forgiveness is conditional.  People say things like, “I will forgive you if…” or “I will forgive you when…”  Real forgiveness is unconditional.  It’s not earned or deserved.  Genuine forgiveness cannot be bargained for, bartered for, or paid for.  Forgiveness is not even based on the promise that the person will never hurt you again.  Genuine forgiveness is unconditional.

Some worry that forgiveness minimizes the seriousness of my hurt.  This is another myth.  Forgiveness in no way implies that what happened was not a big deal.

It’s not saying that what happened didn’t hurt.  To forgive is not to diminish the hurt or the offense in any way. Others mistakenly assume that forgiveness means resuming a relationship without change.  Restoring relationship and forgiveness are two different things.  They are not one and the same.  You may forgive, but there could be circumstances where it is impossible or unwise to restore the relationship.

It should also be noted that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting about what happened.  Maybe you have been afraid to forgive somebody who hurt you because you don’t want to forget what happened.  Maybe you don’t think you can forget about it.  You are probably right.  But there is something better than forgetting anyway and that is remembering but realizing that God is in control and He is still at work bringing good from the bad that happens to us (see Romans 8:28).

Just think back to the cross.  Do you think the disciples could have imagined anything good coming from the crucifixion of God’s Son?  Think about what they must have been feeling as they saw Jesus hanging there dying on the cross.  But God was at work.

You still remember what happened to you, but you can choose, with God’s help and by His grace, to let it go.  The key to forgiveness is not in forgetting.  It is in learning to see what happened through the lens of grace.

 

What must I do to be saved?

Paul and Silas had been beaten up and thrown in jail.  There they were in prison and about midnight and they decided to have a worship service.  They start singing hymns and praising God.  Not what you might expect.  According to scripture, God sent an earthquake that miraculously broke open the prison doors.  The chains fell off all of the prisoners, including Paul and Silas, and all were free to escape.

As you might expect, the jailer freaked out.  He knew he would be put to death if all of the prisoners escaped.  No job security there.  The jailer had pulled out his own sword and was about to kill himself when Paul shouted, “Don’t do it!  We are all still here!” (See Acts 16:16-34)  The jailer then asked Paul and Silas one of the most important questions that a person can ever ask.  He wanted an answer to one simple question.  “What must I do to be saved?”

“What must I do to be saved?”  The answer to that question depends on who you ask.  You’ll get a lot of different answers to this question today.  You’ll hear a lot of different opinions because there are so many different beliefs.  The problem is that all beliefs cannot be equally true.

Many people today often do not embrace the idea of absolute truth, especially when it comes to spiritual matters and issues of eternity.  You will often hear people say things like, “It doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you are sincere.”  Anything that is undesirable is discarded, whether it is true or not.  Many argue that it is intolerant and narrow-minded to think there is only one way to Heaven. There is a definite perception today that truth is in the eye of the beholder.  Some contend that we’re all on different paths, but we are headed to the same destination anyway.  Others are convinced that if you’re sincere, you will be fine, no matter what you believe.

More and more people are adopting belief systems like these.  Are they true?  They tell us that approximately 53% of Americans believe that if a person is generally good, he’ll go to heaven.  Is that right?  About 57% of evangelical church members said they believe many religions can lead to eternal life.  Can this be true?  Are all world religions basically the same and mostly true?

Next time we will dig deeper as we explore the answer to the age old question, “What must I do to be saved?”

 

 

Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving.

So far we have discovered that real forgiveness means relinquishing my right to get even, responding to evil with good, and asking God to fill us with His love.  There is one more key element to genuine forgiveness.  We must be willing to repeat this process as long as necessary.  Forgiveness is rarely a one-time shot.  It’s rarely a solo event.  Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving.  It goes on and on and on.  Every time you remember that hurt, you make a willful choice to forgive and let it go.

Life is made up of choices.  I choose to admit that it hurts.  I choose to give up my right to get even.  I choose to return good for evil.  I choose to be filled with God’s love instead of resentment.  I can choose to bless those who hurt me.  It should be noted that they don’t deserve to be forgiven.  The fact that forgiveness is needed is proof that forgiveness is not deserved.  But I can choose to extend mercy, grace and forgiveness anyway.  I do it because I have received mercy, grace and forgiveness from God.

You may not feel like forgiving.  That’s alright because forgiveness is a decision not a feeling anyway.  People typically don’t feel like forgiving.  You don’t do it because you feel like it.  You do it because it’s the right thing to do, and you do it so you can get on with your life.

The secret to genuine forgiveness is in remembering how much I’ve been forgiven.  How many times do you think God has forgiven you?  Better yet, how often have you been in need of forgiveness yourself?  In Colossians 3:13 we are told to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  God has forgiven me and He expects me to forgive others.

Are you ready to get on with your life?  It’s time to let it go.  It is time to move past the hurt.  It is time to forgive.  Forgiveness is really a two-way street.  Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”  When you have prayed that prayer, did you really mean it?  “God, I want You to forgive me in the same way I have forgiven others.”  I have heard people say, “I could never forgive that person.”  Then I hope you never sin.  Don’t burn the bridge you’re going to have to cross over to get to heaven.  We are to forgive because we have been forgiven.

 

Are you passing on bitterness as an inheritance?

We’ve been considering keys to genuine forgiveness.  Last time we determined that forgiveness begins by relinquishing my right to get even.  In Hebrews 12:15 we are told to “Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.” (TLB)  Like a small root that grows into a great tree, bitterness springs up in our hearts and overshadows our relationships.  A “poisonous root of bitterness” comes when we allow disappointment or hurts to grow into resentment, or when we nurse grudges over past hurts.

I am so thankful that the Spirit of God can heal the hurt that causes bitterness in life if we will allow Him.  One of the greatest avenues of healing is forgiveness.  Unfortunately, an unforgiving spirit leads to resentment that can be passed on from generation to generation.  The truth is you don’t just make yourself miserable.  When you’re bitter, you make everybody else around you miserable too.  It is like you are passing on your bitterness as an inheritance.

Forgiveness not only means giving up my right to get even, it also involves responding to evil with good.  In Luke 6:27-28 Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  There are several key words in those two verses that are vital elements of forgiveness.  Do you see them?  We are to love, do good, bless, and pray for.  Also, be sure and notice that these things are all directed toward our enemies, those who hate us, those who curse us, and those who mistreat us.

You choose to return good for evil.  That sounds like something Jesus to would do.  As a matter of fact, that’s what He did.  Remember when Jesus prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”?  Jesus was responding to evil with good.  You will know you’ve genuinely forgiven somebody when you can pray for them in this way.

Today, we can decide to respond to evil with good.  The way to do that is by asking God to fill us with His love.  Most of us don’t have the capacity to live like this on our own.  We need God’s help.  We need the love of Jesus Christ to fill us.  When God’s love fills us, He enables us to love like only He can.  God wants to enable us to do what we could never do on our own.  More next time…

Forgiveness isn’t fair.

Last time we considered some myths regarding forgiveness.  So, what does real forgiveness look like anyway?  In Romans 12:19 we are told to leave revenge in God’s hands.  When I am ready to forgive, I decide to relinquish my right to get even.  That may sound unfair, because it is.  Forgiveness isn’t fair.  Was it fair for Jesus Christ to die for your sins and mine?  We’re the ones who sinned.  The Bible says the wages of sin is death.  The blood price had to be paid for our sin.  Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God died in our place.  He is the One who offers us the free gift of eternal life.  Forgiveness is a gift of God’s grace.  There is nothing fair about it.

It is interesting to see how we always seem to want justice for everyone else, but we desire forgiveness and grace for ourselves.  When it comes to forgiving somebody else, our immediate response is, “that’s not fair!”  But you never hear anybody asking God to be fair with them.  Nobody says, “God, go ahead and give me what I deserve.”  That is because we don’t want God to be fair with us.  We want God to be gracious to us.  We want God to forgive us.

Forgiveness means I relinquish my right to get even.  This is the starting point to forgiveness.  If you don’t do this, you easily fall into the trap of bitterness.  No matter how much bitterness you possess and no matter how much resentment you hold on to, it isn’t going to change the past.  All of that resentment, and all of that bitterness, and all of those grudges you’ve held on to, they won’t bring anything positive to your future.  Resentment will never change the past.  It will just mess up today.

Many times people hold resentment in their hearts and the people they resent don’t have a clue.  They’re going along through life, having fun, doing their thing, getting on with their future.  And all the while you’re the one stuck in the past.  When you hold on to resentment, aren’t you really allowing those same people who hurt you in the past to continue hurting you today?  They cannot continue to hurt you unless you choose to hold on to the hurt.  Why would you do that?  Why would you hold on to a hurt that cannot be changed or controlled?  All you’re doing is making yourself miserable.  So you relinquish your right to get even.  More next time…

 

Does forgiving always mean forgetting?

How do you handle it when somebody hurts you?  Do you keep score when you have been hurt?  Do you hold a grudge or stockpile your hurts?  In 1 Corinthians 13:5 we are reminded that “Love…keeps no record of wrongs.”  When we keep a record of wrongs it’s like we are saving up ammunition so that when others hurt us, we have an arsenal we can use to hurt them back.  But according to the scripture, that is not what love does.  Instead, love forgives.

There are so many myths and misconceptions about forgiveness.  Some think that forgiveness is conditional.  People sometimes say things like, “I will forgive you if…” or “I will forgive you when…”  Real forgiveness is unconditional.  It’s not earned or deserved.  Genuine forgiveness cannot be bargained for, bartered for, or paid for.  Forgiveness is not even based on the promise that the person will never hurt you again.  Genuine forgiveness is unconditional.

Some worry that forgiveness minimizes the seriousness of my hurt.  This is another myth.  Forgiveness in no way implies that what happened was not a big deal.  It’s not saying that what happened didn’t hurt.  To forgive is not to diminish the hurt or the offense in any way. Others mistakenly assume that forgiveness means resuming a relationship without change.  Restoring relationship and forgiveness are two different things.  They are not the same.  You may forgive, but there could be circumstances where it is impossible or unwise to restore the relationship.

It should also be noted that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting about what happened.  Maybe you have been afraid to forgive somebody who hurt you because you don’t want to forget what happened.  Maybe you don’t think you can forget about it.  You are probably right.  But there is something better than forgetting anyway and that is remembering but realizing that God is in control and He is still at work bringing good from the bad that happens to us (see Romans 8:28).  Just think back to the cross.  Do you think the disciples could have imagined anything good coming from the crucifixion of God’s Son?  Think about what they must have been feeling as they saw Jesus hanging there dying on the cross.  But God was at work.

You still remember what happened to you, but you can choose, with God’s help and by His grace, to let it go.  The key to forgiveness is not in forgetting.  It is in learning to see what happened through the lens of grace.

Next time we’ll discover what real forgiveness looks like.

 

Sexual sin is in a category all its own…

In 1 Corinthians 6:18 Paul is writing to new believers trying to figure out their faith.  Here is what he said, “Flee from sexual immorality.”  That is what all married people want their spouse to do.  This is what every parent wants their child to do.  Everyone in a dating relationship wants their partner to do this.  It is what every older brother wishes for his younger sister.  It is what every teenager wants for their future mate.  We know this is good counsel for the people we love.  But somehow we get ourselves to a place where we are not so sure that it is good for us in certain circumstances.

Paul goes on, “All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”  Paul is making it clear that sexual sin is like no other type of sin.  Sexual sin seems to have a way of sticking around and it creates all kinds of baggage in your life sexually, spiritually, emotionally, and otherwise.

You may want to think of the sexual side of your life as physical and nothing more, but it is so much more than a physical act.  It is also emotional.  It affects your heart.  It is spiritual.  It affects your soul.  It affects your conscience.  It affects the way you see yourself and the way you view others.  That is not to say that sexual sin is worse than any other sin.  Sexual sin is unique in the way that it impacts your life.  Sexual sin is not in a category all of its own because God won’t forgive sexual sin.  We know God forgives.  What’s at stake are consequences.

Paul then points out a higher standard for our sexuality.  “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”  (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)  That is a different standard than asking, “what is right or wrong”, or “is there a consequence”, or “will we get caught”, or “how far can I go and still get away with it?”

If you choose to live according to God’s standard, you will never regret it.  You will also be setting yourself up for success in the most important area of life, the area of relationships, not only with others, but with your Father in Heaven.

How can I participate in Christ’s mission to reach the world?

Jesus associated with all kinds of people.  From a despised tax collector to the Roman Governor…from a widow to a prophet…from a rich man to a blind beggar…Jesus connected with all kinds of people from all walks of life.  Regardless of rich or how poor, how young or old, whether sinner or saint—Jesus cares equally for everyone.  People are what brought Christ to the earth in the first place.  The Bible tells us that Jesus came to seek and to save the lost and then He called His followers to continue what He began.

So, the question is, how can I participate in Christ’s mission to reach the world?  When Jesus healed a demon-possessed man, then He specifically told him, “Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you” (Mark 5:19).  The gospel first impacts the life of an individual and then the individual spreads the gospel to those who are in their circles of influence.

When Jesus healed the politician’s son in John 4, John said that “…he and all his household believed”.  When Jesus called Levi (Matthew) to be His disciple, Mark recalled that, “while Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him”.  These were Matthew’s friends.  They were the people who knew him and he knew them.  They were in relationship with him.  These were people who He cared for.

If you truly care for someone, don’t you think it is important to help connect them to the incredible message of God’s amazing love?  Since Christ’s mission on earth was to seek and to save the lost, and since He has called us to continue what He began, we need to understand how we can participate in Christ’s mission to reach the world.

The answer is in relationships.  Most Christians I know can point back to the influence of one or more relationships that influenced their decision to choose to follow Christ.  Relationships form the foundation for the way the Kingdom of God is built.  Two thousand years after Christ ascended to the Father, I believe He is calling us to partner with Him by continuing what He started when He walked on the face of the earth.  We get to tell the people that God has supernaturally and specifically placed in our lives about His mercy, grace, and love.